Remembrance of Sandy Price by Matt Price

I found the challenge of trying to sum up a person as complex and dynamic as my mother too challenging. So I’ve to settled for two small stories that have been working through my mind ever since my mother’s death.

Errands with Mom
When I was young, I was often forced to accompany my mother on her errands. My mother was conscientious about grouping her errands, but to me all that meant was they lasted longer. It didn’t help that my mother would strike up a conversation with just about everyone we saw in every store, whether she knew them or not.

One Trip I remember one particular trip from my early teens. As we were checking out from one store, my mother eagerly told the cashier that we needed that paper so that we could make fliers for whatever project she was engaged in. That detail escapes me.

“Nobody wants to know that stuff” But I clearly remember that I was horrified and more than a little embarrassed, so on the way out of the store I said, with a touch of self-righteousness, “Nobody wants to know that stuff, so why do you tell everyone what you’re doing all the time?” Mom’s Response My mother’s response was to look slightly sad (for me, I think) and slightly perplexed as she said, “How else do you know what you’ve got to say until you say it?” Then she brightened up and continued, “It’s fun to find out what comes out when you open your mouth.” I suspect that all of you here are familiar with my mother’s eagerness for conversation. It was one of her wonderful characteristics, though it took me years to appreciate it.

Link To Children
One of the things that that she found herself asking me many times was the question “When are you going to get married, settle down and give me grandchildren?” I might be paraphrasing a bit.

Visit To Chicago
It became really important to her slightly less than one year ago. I flew to Chicago to meet my mother and help her as she moved back into the house here and went to visit doctors. My father took a few extra days to escape from France.

Response to Doctor
In one of her appointments, the doctor looked at her and said “Pancreatic cancer is a brutal disease. There are no good treatments. The average survival is less than one year from diagnosis.” My mother was clearly grateful for the doctor’s honesty, but when we got out to the car, she looked at me and said “Well.” and began to cry. After a few long seconds, she continued “Matt, if you ever have children tell them I would have loved them.”

Ella and My Regrets
My daughter, Ella, was born this May. Happily, we brought Ella to visit my mother while she could still enjoy it. Perhaps my greatest sorrow at this moment is that my mother didn’t get any time to really enjoy Ella growing up and that Ella will not get a chance to know my mother or learn from her.

Gifts From My Mother
But Ella will get things from my mother through those of us who knew her and loved her. Even more than our stories and words, she will get aspects of my mother that we learned from her and carry on. Amusingly, as I was preparing this speech and explaining my mother’s bad habit of talking to strangers, my wife exclaimed “Oh, you do that!” And I do, even if I’m not always aware of it. I expect that Ella will not enjoy it as a child any more than I did, but I hope that she will learn from my mother through me.

Better if She’s Here
While it’s some comfort to know that my mother will live on in us, I’d rather she was still here.