(Karen McDowell suggested this type of legacy to Sandy. She wrote this text based on several conversations with Sandy)
ETHICAL WILL OF SANDRA PRICE
Reminiscences, Reflections, and Riches
June, 2009
[including how you choose to use your money to support loved ones!]
1.Girvin [Mother's] family was not demonstrative. There was always the assumption that they loved, but there was not the open warmth.
2.Wheat [Dad's] family was full of affection, but didn't always follow through with support/action
a.no cleaning lady for mother, who was taking care of grandmother and retarded aunt
b.cemetery head stone for family plot in Edgewood. Judy and I worked to gather money for it. We took care of what our ancestors couldn't finish.
c.what I learned: previous generation couldn't trust; just saying you love is important, but not enough - more important is to show your love through support and understanding - that is most honest. Say it and show it!
1.Dad was always helping others, perhaps at the expense of his own family. He worked hard as a machinist, and although he wanted to rest when he came home, he always kept busy e.g., shoveling for neighbors; but could have spent more time with us.
2."My genius is in my ability to work hard." - Sandy
I recall when Larry and I went to our college reunion in Claremont, CA and visited the cemetery hunting for the graves of his grandparents, aunt and uncle. The tree we sought as trail-marker was gone, and in searching, we came across the graves of three of my history professors, all in a line. We were amused by the trend toward "dead-o-rama" style grave decorations, then enjoyed a final amusement at the grave of a nineteen-year-old youth, where a bench was inscribed, "Oh, well!"
1. Growing up, there seemed to be many little unspoken secrets. Important events were not explained. Judy and I often didn't know why things were happening.
examples
a.When Peggy, the dog, died, no one told us; after several days of her being gone, we just kind of figured it out.
b.When Mom was ill, we would often be moved while sleeping and surprised to awake in the house of a neighbor or relative. Her illness was never discussed.
2. As a result, I feel this is one of the most important values of my life. I raised Matt and Jeff in an atmosphere of up front honesty, and no secrets, and was always a straight talking, tell-it-like-it-is secondary teacher. As Larry's great-grandfather, a Tennessee schoolmaster, said, "Never do anything on the sly." Words to live by.
· I think it comes from hard working ancestry and often having to fend for myself.
· It comes from living my life honestly, telling it like it is, being able to talk comfortably about practically anything. Dad was a people-person and taught us to be self-reliant.
"I go to church to correct my natural pessimism."
The cabin on San Juan Island in Washington
Oregon coast - Larry's parents' home and cove
water, old trees, fresh air, quiet
|
Matt - intelligence |
Jeff - sense of humor |
Know your own values and choose someone w/compatible qualities and values
Honesty - my deepest value
Know that every marriage has some tough times
Making the decision to go with Larry to France. Some scientists went without their spouses; some didn't go because the spouse did not wish to. It was not just his dream, but our adventure.
"We are born alone and we die alone." My own revelation, age 15
"To understand all is to forgive all ' -
French quotation credited to my high school English teacher, Miss Reed
Embellishment: which is not to say we condone what is wrong
Assume nothing. Appearances can deceive. Be sure of the facts. I learned that as a teacher.
"Forgiveness can change the course of cause and effect." -Dag Hammarskjold There was a point in my life when I needed to break the chain - to forgive and be forgiven.
"Want what you have; do what you can; be who you are." -Forrest Church, Love and Death